Moving forward after a missed miscarriage (not to mention having to get through a D&C) is so much harder than dealing with a natural miscarriage (which hubby and I have already dealt with too). Having both, back to back, within just a couple months of one another, is even harder. Some days I think I’m okay and I can move forward. Other days, are just so much harder. All I can think about, day dream about, hope & wish for is a child of our own. Going through two miscarriages makes me that more appreciative of what I had, even for such a brief moment. It makes me yearn and want a child that much more. I’m no longer scared to be a parent, no longer scared of “how will we afford a baby?” Or “will we be good parents?”. I know we are going to be fantastic parents. Not perfect, by far. But we will be amazing parents to our future kids.
Lately it’s been pretty rough. I’m coming up to my ovulation, and there’s nothing I can do. I still have to wait and let my body get back to normal. It’s so hard knowing I can just try again, and also knowing that I can’t :( getting pregnant for us seems pretty easy (thank The Lord!). I just hope, wish & pray that next time around our little baby will stick around until the end of the ride. And be as happy & healthy as it can be (God willing!).
Just had to vent and let this out. Been holding in too much lately, and it’s time I let it go.